A Teachers Journey
By: Nanci Perkins
Presented at CSUF CAS Student Awards Night
May 23, 2003
The journey began for Kimberly Perkins in the fall of 1998 when she started as a freshman at Cal State Fullerton. She chose the Child and Adolescence Studies major with the hopes of making it into the teacher credential program and teach elementary school one day. As many typical freshmen that year, Kimberly settled in with various activities that included the Fullerton First Year (FFY) Program and accepting a bid to join Delta Zeta, where she found supportive and lasting friendships.
The spring semester was full of exciting parties and formals and social events- as well as academics and normal activities for a first year college student. But what wasn’t normal was a mole on her leg that was growing and changing and doing mysterious things.
When the semester was finally over and the social events were winding down, she finally had that mole looked at.
The diagnosis was melanoma. It was July of 1999 when she had her first surgery to remove the mole from her left thigh. That was followed by a more invasive surgery to remove the lymph nodes in her groin where a few tiny microscopic melanoma cells were found. By the time the fall semester of her sophomore year started, she was ready to go back to school even though she had drains in her leg connected to a funny looking bulb that dangled awkwardly from her waist. “No problem,” she said. “I’ll just tuck it my pants.” She set off to class like everyone else that semester, even though she knew no one else was facing a similar challenge.
Considering the seriousness of melanoma, her physicians wanted Kimberly to have follow-up therapy. After exploring the options, she decided to do a year of immune therapy (Interferon), which essentially enhances the immune system to fight off the cancer cells. Unfortunately, the side effects were flu-like symptoms and trouble with concentration but she was determined to complete the semester and just do the best she could while undergoing treatment. So, she would schedule the treatments around her classes, knowing when she got the medicine she would be sick the next day. But she kept going and made school her top priority.
It was biology that took the biggest hit. She had to repeat that one and she barely passed sociology. I am confident her instructors did not know what she was going through. Not wanting to draw attention to herself, she probably said something like, "Oh, I 'm having some trouble with my health" and just left it at that. She did not want to be treated any differently and she felt that she should "tow the line" just like everyone else.
She was still getting treatment in the spring of 2000 and managed to get a 3.3 GPA that semester. In October of 2000, the treatments were finally over and she felt good through the summer of 2001. Her grades were up, she was doing field work at an elementary class and was enjoying school, feeling very successful.
It was fall semester 2001 when the melanoma came back, causing tremendous disappointment for everyone. She had another surgery and her physicians were more worried than ever that those cells that were hiding like terrorists ready to attack anywhere at any time. So they decided that the next step was to attack them with the tomahawk missiles in their medicine arsenal called bio chemotherapy, the nightmare of all therapies. She said, "Ok, but it will have to wait until I finish this semester.” She was more than half way through and was not about to just drop out. She was determined to finish out the semester and resolved to take a leave from her studies the next semester.
In the spring of 2002, her studies were on hold as she battled a grueling four months of intense treatments and serious illness. She became envious when talking to her friends that semester who were complaining about the usual midterms, reports and papers they had to do. She so longed to be doing the “normal student” thing. What she would have given to be able to study and prepare a paper but instead she was in a hospital room fighting a disease that would eventually take her life.
Well, if determination was her middle name then perseverance was right next to it. She was not about to waste time. Despite the tomahawk missiles not working to eradicate the melanoma, she was feeling pretty good. She figured she could study for the CBEST test while recovering from the many insults her body had just taken. So she studied and passed it in June of 2002. She said, "this is a very positive step to being accepted into the teacher education program.” To make up for lost time she took two classes in summer school. At the same time, she started yet another treatment (a vaccine) for this disease that would not go away. She believed she was going to beat it and would one day be a teacher.
As soon as she finished summer school, she went on a family vacation, which she was so looking forward to. But just before she left, she found out that the disease was back again! She said, "I am going on my vacation and I'll just deal with it when I get back". Just before we left her surgeon said," oh, it's just a little spot. Go have fun on your trip and we'll take care of it when you return". And, so she did.
When we got back, it was time to start the fall 2002 semester. Shortly after that, she found out that the disease had spread to her lung and her liver. That was a huge blow! All this time she had been dealing with a disease localized in her leg but now this was serious. She knew it, but it did not stop her. Another form of chemotherapy was prescribed. It wasn't going to be as difficult but her physician wanted her to quit school. There was no way she was going to do that. She could fight this cancer and reach her goal all at the same time. And that is exactly what she did.
After six weeks of chemotherapy in Santa Monica on Wednesday mornings and then back to Fullerton for class that afternoon, a follow-up scan showed that the cancer was growing. By the end of October 2002, she was hospitalized for pneumonia, a complication from the tumor blocking an airway in her lung. From her hospital bed, she phoned her instructors to get assignments, keep up with her schoolwork and let them know why she was not in class. Even though she was sick, her school books were spread out on her hospital bed and she managed to get some work done.
After that, she went through daily radiation treatments for 2 weeks, making a 30 mile trek each way from home to the hospital and to the campus. By this time, she was not able to drive herself. Some days she had to have 2 treatments, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. When that was over and found to be successful in healing the infection, the next step was an experimental drug to kill the cancer cells. She was getting sicker and weaker by the day but that never stopped her from working on a report or finishing an assignment for class. She started that treatment in mid-November which required her to be in Santa Monica for 3 days but she still managed to get to some of her classes that week. Then, thankfully, came the Thanksgiving break which gave her more time to catch up, prepare for her finals and go to Disneyland for her birthday.
By the first week of December 2002, Kimberly needed every ounce of energy her body could make, so she consented to be carted around in a wheelchair. I would wheel her to class, wait for her to call, and then pick her up. By this time, she actually needed a little encouragement to go to class. It was so hard for her and she was in pain, but she persevered through it all. There was another three-day trip to Santa Monica for a second treatment of an experimental drug.
When finals time came around, she found the strength to take two. She told one of her teachers on December 20th that she was coming back the next semester and she would see her then. Instead, she was hospitalized on December 25th for the last time. When she knew that her time on this earth was nearing the end, she asked her father and I what made us the saddest about her leaving. Then I asked her what made her the saddest. She said, "I am only 23 and I just wanted to be a teacher.” She passed away peacefully on January 1, 2003 after celebrating that she made to the New Year.
Her determination and perseverance are certainly admirable qualities but I think what was her most remarkable trait was the way she approached life and all her challenging circumstances with the most incredible positive attitude. That made her spirit most unique.
I know she would say to all of her fellow students and future students that you are really lucky to have the opportunity to finish your studies and for some, to become teachers. Don't ever take that for granted. Recognize the gift that you have been given and be grateful for it. I appreciate this opportunity to share her story and her journey.